There are lessons to be learned in life. I am fairly certain that I have multitudes to learn! Lately, I have been contemplating my purpose. I haven't quite come to any conclusion either. After performing a self evaluation, I find that many of my good qualities are qualities that are considered weak! In a den of lions, I'm sure that I would have been eaten already.
I receive pep talks from my adopted family (friends) whom I prefer to most of my actual family. In a perfect world, the qualities that I do possess that would have been considered admirable in an era long ago. I have become a door mat inviting anyone to wipe their feet on me before trampling my self esteem and good nature.
I should have stayed out of the marital problems that certain family members were having but what do you do when they plead with you not to hang up?? As usual, when the dust settles, the marriage is perfect and the interlopers are frowned upon.
My constant need to please everyone and lack of ability to say no have been a giant FAIL! I have put everyone else first and leave me for last.
Living in a foreign country, in a loveless marriage, with unruly children is a testament to my failure.
Is this the point in the story where I finally wake up to the reality and change my life to live happily ever after? Only in fairy tales.
My story starts as a young girl born to an alcoholic, adulterer father and manic depressive mother. My parents divorce. I suffer from "Daddy Issues" and I search for love in any man that would have me. Settling for the first one who would have me indefinitely and is true to the cliche - Just Like Daddy!!
Blaming myself for all of my partner's faults and enduring years of mental abuse. As a result, low self esteem! Classic case of an enabler! Will I pass this gene on to my daughters? More than likely.... as it was passed along to me by my mother!
In retrospect, I would have stayed out of the family drama. I don't know how but I would have. Not answering the phone would be a beginning. But sadly, my need to be there and make everyone happy would prevent me from just letting the phone ring!!
Please, please, please.... just wipe your feet before stomping on my face.
About Me
- Florida Native
- I'm a stay-at-home mother (not by choice) of two unruly little girls. I have been married for 16 years to the same man and we haven't killed each other yet!! My children and I are Floridians by birth and have recently transplanted to Canada... I was coerced into blogging because it was said that things I say can or may be interesting.... we'll see about that. Welcome to my random rants about daily life, bitches and anything else that may keep my sleepless brain up at night - and me along with it. And ..... let's begin!
