All of us at some time or another have felt like the Bearded Lady.... and I don't mean just because a few of us have unwanted facial hair. A better description may be like a three-headed monster. That no matter how we try to blend in, we stand out like a sore thumb. Well, welcome to my Week From Hell... (insert dramatic music here)
I'm not a small woman by any means. I'm not sure who to thank for my height or my generous breasts but I would like to thank Little Debbie, McDonald's and all others for my curvaceous body. Being a plus sized woman usually draws attention anyway but for some reason Mother Nature decided to play a cruel joke on me and give me my 'monthly' for THREE weeks. As if that weren't enough let's top it off with a cold sore the size of my face and a zit that looks like I got punched on the side of my nose. The combination of all of this makes me feel like the Elephant Man. Needless to say, I will remain indoors for the duration. At least until these defects disappear.
Everyday my "KK" stares at the cold sore and tells me that my boo boo is red and is getting bigger, and bigger, and bigger. Wow... so much for self esteem. I'm fortunate enough that I don't really have to show my face in public. No one will be frightened by the horror that reflects back at me in the mornings. Morning is the ONLY time I allow myself to look in the mirror because the cold sore is reminiscent of the zit on Family Guy that forces Chris to do all kinds of evil acts. No sense subjecting myself to the horror more than once a day. I wonder if I should name this virus. I don't really want to be friendly with it and make it comfortable... the sooner it leaves, the better!! It wouldn't be so bad if I were at a carnival and collecting a paycheck for allowing others to view my oddities.
Bearded Ladies unite!! After my face heals............. group rates at the local laser hair removal center may be in order.
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