What is a 'bad' word?!!

We all get to a point, even the meek, that we are forced to say words to release pent up frustrations.  We all have a favorite one too.  Mine, I am embarrassed to say, is asshole.  My husband loves to use the 'fuck' word.  It tends to punctuate sentences... it becomes an adjective.... sometimes the word itself is the same as if you spoke an entire sentence. 

When you have children, you want to be the perfect role model and never use these words in their presence.  I haven't been following this guideline very well.  I swear at every chance I get.  When my husband and I are having a conversation it sounds as if we are two gutter-mouthed, truck drivers discussing our latest conquest at a whore-house.  I guess it would be fair to say that our children never had a chance.

The other day, my kids and I were playing around in the bed.... tickling each other and giggling.  I pinned The Other One under my leg and The Little One was very upset.  She wanted to protect her big sister and save her from the Demon Mom.  She climbed my back and tried to pull me off of her sister.  She pulled effortlessly on my arms and when she realized that I wasn't budging .....that's when it happened.  My baby called me an Ass Grow.  She said it over and over without any remorse.  She wanted me off of her sister and was going to use every weapon in her arsenal.  After nearly collapsing from the shock and giggling hysterically, I asked her to repeat it again.  "You're an ass grow."  She was definitely serious.  I had to tell her that Ass was the bad word.  Her eyes grew in astonishment and she said, "Oh... I'm sorry, Mommy." 

What can I say to her?  She has been a victim of such colorful language for her entire life and it never phased her before.  She found herself in a situation that her physical strength wasn't going to overpower me so she did what any normal human being would do.... cuss me out!!!  I commend her on her wit but how do I eradicate this misguided teaching?

Only a few months ago she was 'beeping' her bad language.  She told her sister that she was a 'beep', but I guess the effect was lost with the beep.  Somewhere along the line she decided that she was going to find a more resourceful way to voice her version of this vulgarity that we call talking in our home.  Everyday she asks me if blank is a bad word; or can she say blank.  Some days she asks me to run through the list of 'bad words' so she can ask me if, in fact, it is a bad word.  Then, after determining that said word is bad, she continues to tell me that she will be able to say it in her own home when she gets big. 

The Other One grew up the same way and never had an interest in potty mouth.  I can't remember a time that she said a word that even resembled a dirty word.  She's nine and I think I heard her say 'hell' for the first time yesterday!!  I assumed that desensitization was the key to prevent our children from having such a horrible vocabulary.  I guess I was wrong.  Each child has adapted their own way of dealing.

I would like to say that we have learned our lesson and cleaned up our language but as nice as it sounds I regret to inform you that we are still prone to cussing as a way of communication.  The only time that we refrain from saying the most vulgar of words is in the presence of my husband's 82-year-old grandmother and my mother-in-law.  Shit is among the acceptable words.... so we make due. 

Thanks to my four-year-old, I have added AssGrow to my list of choice words.........