Is it ever going to be a good time?

The other day 'The Other One' came home from school, as she normally does, drops all of her belongings on the living room floor and sets out to find endless snacks before starting her homework.  I listen with a fake sense of interest as she regales me with stories of Elementary school drama.  As I listen, I start emptying her lunch box which consisted of a melted freezer pack, crushed crackers and a piece of paper.  The dampness of the melted freezer pack caused the cracker crumbs to become a gooey substance that covered the inside of the lunch box.  I'm grossed out and wondering what possessed her to crush the crackers instead of eating them.  She is still going on and on about her school chums and I am still feigning interest.  I start to open the folded piece of paper and begin reading it:  Dear You - it begins.  I'm sorry that I ran away from you today but I was shy.  (WHAT?!! Keep reading Mom) If you really want to talk to me again tell Bridget and I may be under the tree.  I love you.  (OH-MYYYY-GAWD!!! OMIGOD, OMIGOD, OMIGOD!!)  At the bottom of this lovely letter are colorful hearts.  I need to tell you that I am paraphrasing from memory because the instant that it was discovered what it was I was actually reading, the item was confiscated and never seen again. 

At this point I am shocked!!  Maybe not shocked.... angry?  No.  I don't know how to describe the actual emotion.  My initial instinct was to yell but I composed myself and thought that yelling only makes her shut down.  I know she likes boys.  It isn't like I don't see Justin Bieber everyday because he's plastered on her bedroom wall.  Or the older boy last year that passed us at the bus stop that she would always stare at.  I am fully aware that her hormones have taken over but I wasn't prepared to deal with LOVE LETTERS!! 

When I was 14 and started 'liking boys' my mom decided that she being a single mom and working all of the time couldn't watch over me and my raging hormones the way I needed.  So she passed me off to my dad and his wife.  Mom, it didn't work.  I was EXTREMELY hormonal there!!  A lot of my "firsts" happened while I was under my dad's care.  Way to go, Dad!! 

My daughter is going through a lot of changes and I am fully aware of them all.  She is sprouting hair and having break outs.  Her attitude goes from timid nine-year-old to raging bitch in 0.9 seconds flat.  She isn't like other nine-year-old's that care only about playing and what's on tv.  No, not my daughter... she has blonde highlights in her dark brown hair.  She refuses to get a hair cut because she loves her long hair.  She obsesses over her clothes- even if her dad and I think she looks like a hobo. It is her style and it has to be just right.  Girls her age are asking for dolls and video games for presents - The Other One prefers perfume, makeup and jewelry. 

On to the matter-at-hand ----She was in shock! "Give me that, Mommy.  It's a page from my diary."  I can't believe this kid thinks I'm that stupid.  Is she serious?  Okay... get yourself together, Mom...  I started asking questions.  Who is this kid?  Why are you sending him notes? As she pointed out, she didn't send it.  That's why it was still in her lunch box.   WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?  I'll tell you what I did... after persistent begging not to tell Daddy (which I did, secretly) I told her that I never want another one of these written again.  I had to use my Jedi Mom Tricks..  I told her "you know that you always get caught so just don't do it" 

I am just not ready.  Not ready to let my nine-year-old enter the world of heartbreaks even if they are only playground ones.  Sometimes I wonder why I couldn't have had boys.  I think boys are easier to raise.  It all goes back to the 'curse'.  I pray that The Little One doesn't discover boys until she's 23 and has a sturdy idea of who she is and what she wants to be.  I have to be careful because I could be inviting a whole new set of problems onto myself.