Making a brand new ending.....

Though no one can go back and make a brand new start;
Anyone can start from now and make a brand new end. 

I stumbled across this tidbit of information that I had written on a piece of paper, torn from my journal and stashed away in a tote underneath a million pounds of other tidbits of memorabilia that I have hoarded over the last several years.  Seems like the universe is trying to tell me something.  As usual, I'm not listening. 

My kids and I moved to Canada to join my husband and his family recently for what we thought to be a 'brand new start'...........   Who knew we were doing it wrong?  We're supposed to be making a 'brand new end' instead.  Part of this process involves sorting through our previous existence and ridding ourselves of dead weight.  I ventured into this project this morning and got lost in the memories and endless amounts of crap.  Hair clippings from first haircuts, stickers for projects that I have yet to begin and artwork dating back to when my now 9-year-old was in preschool.  Also, amongst the nonsense that defines my life, was a card that I had bought my mother upon finding out she was terminal, a hospital bracelet from one of the many times she was hospitalized, a card that she gave to my oldest for Valentine's Day and a letter that she wrote to her family upon missing yet another family reunion. 

My mother passed away on March 20th, 2007, after a short battle with pancreatic cancer.  I say short because even though she was in pain for years, she never made an appointment to have herself examined.  She had battled breast cancer and ultimately won but not without casualties.  She lost her left breast and many lymph nodes too.  Leaving her less of a woman in her eyes.  She refused to be diagnosed with yet another life-threatening illness.  Later, my aunt informed me, that during a brief visit with her and another sister my mother admitted to thinking she was riddled with cancer.  Not long after that, we were losing her. 

So, among all the THINGS that I have accumulated throughout the years and can't stand to part with, I have also inherited my mother's things.  It has been a slow process but I am coming to terms with letting things go.  They are, after all, only things.  It's not like the blood pressure monitor that I have buried away in the closet is going to one day hop out and hug me saying all will be alright.  Maybe it's the countless times my mother would say "When I'm gone you are going to just throw my crap away".   I'm not going to lie, many of her 'treasures' I would often question the validity of keeping them while she was alive. 

Needless to say, in the end, they are just that - THINGS!!  Inanimate objects that are incapable of showing love or emotion.  They hold a memory of a person, place or idea.  I'm not ready to let go of everything but I am relieving my load just a little bit.  Maybe this cleansing will help me mentally as well.  I know that my husband will appreciate the fact that I am finally making room in the closet!! 

Anyone want to buy a slightly used blood pressure monitor?